“I’m a HUGE fan of the ________.” Fill in the blank with Metropolitan Opera, Chicago Bears, Los Angeles Dodgers or similar. The problems are: (A) You’re probably much closer to average than you realize. (B) It reads like it’s been written by an obnoxious, boasting child. (C) Your enthusiasm aside, it contains little information. HereContinue reading “How to write lousy”
Author Archives: tpatmaho
Wall of women
In chapter 4 of “Shipwreck Bay,” Taylor Burns suspects a spa worker is being used as a sex slave. Her cousin/best friend is known to frequent the Wonder Bar. As Taylor tries to find her, he’s confronted by a “wall of women.” Hey, didn’t he know it was Ladies Night at the Wonder? (The illustratedContinue reading “Wall of women”
Because they could
I’m supposedly an expert on the “Gangster Era” and yes, it does have something to do with the tragic killing of Breonna Taylor. Let’s go back to January 1935, Lake Weir, Florida. Federal Agents surrounded a house that was occupied by Ma Barker and her son Fred. Those two were wanted for bank robbery andContinue reading “Because they could”
They care for each other!
In “Reverse Lightning” the destitute character Piano washes up on Mexican shores. He is surprised to find himself recovering in a hospital. On the streets of his hometown, he’d have been left for dead. When he recovers and goes back to Jeffersonia, he has a startling message, delivered to his fellow down-and-outers. It is possible,Continue reading “They care for each other!”
The angry, crazy rich man
In “Reverse Lightning,” one state in a fractured America is ruled by Permanent President Mal Malenkovich. He is a mad billionaire with dictatorial impulses. I drafted this novel in 2010, when Trump was just a TV host — an American asterisk. So Malenkovich is in no way modeled on that unworthy politician. In a way,Continue reading “The angry, crazy rich man”
The world’s only pop star
In “Reverse Lightning” I imagine a new world order, led by Mexico, with the US broken up into 13 squabbling mini-nations. Kissy Jag, above, is the great-granddaughter of Mick Jagger. She’s also the world’s only official pop star. Her songs are directly commercial, for example: “If You Love Me, Chew Hunger Ease Gum.” They’re alsoContinue reading “The world’s only pop star”
That queasy, uneasy feeling
Over the years I’ve been asked: What did it feel like, being in Vietnam? In some ways, it felt like it does now. During my year in the Mekong Delta, I’d wake up to bright sunshine and a warm, moldy breeze. I’d be feeling chipper. Who knows, maybe I’d been dreaming of home. And thenContinue reading “That queasy, uneasy feeling”
Will you serve?
Every generation is tested. This disease that has come upon us presents harsh and terrible options. It’s been reported that some (only some!) younger people are attempting to party on. The notion is that Covid-19 threatens old people, while somehow magically leaving the young unaffacted. Even if that turns out to be true, young peopleContinue reading “Will you serve?”
Abolish weekends
by Tim Mahoney When we come out the other side of this pandemic, we should take the opportunity to abolish weekends. Nope, this is not a call to drag workers back to 19th Century standards, when they were lucky to get a Sunday off. This is simply the recognition that the weekend has kept usContinue reading “Abolish weekends”